Obama on Snooze-Control

Obama – On Snooze-Control

 The View from the Middle

There was actually some great news for many Americans in President Obama’s final news conference of 2016.  A recording of this event will be made available through YouTube for the millions of Americans who suffer from occasional to chronic insomnia.  And it really works.  This is just my own personal testimony, but I had to watch it four times because I fell asleep during the first three viewings.

It’s also hard to be humorous and boring at the same time, but our President was able to pull it off.  At the end of his prelude to the news conference, the President was talking about his plans for his final year in office.  His actual words were, “I’m going to leave it all on the field”, which to any sports enthusiast suggests a supreme effort.  However, he said it with so little emotion that I didn’t know whether to doze off or laugh. 

Then the President segued into what I'll call “statistical babble” in an attempt to convince us that things couldn’t be better here in the good old US of A.  For example, unemployment has been cut in half to 5%.  Wow, that’s great.  Of course, he didn’t mention that’s because his administration drove it up to 10% after promising it would never go above 8%.  He also didn’t point out that the labor participation rate is at its lowest level since 1978 and in its longest decline – EVER.

Blah, blah, blah.  By the time he got done spewing his selective data I thought I was living in Whoville (after the Grinch returned Christmas) instead of the United States. He then went on to congratulate Congress on the great work they just did on the budget deal.  He said it’s a big win, and I’m sure it is – for somebody, but certainly not for the conservative Republicans who control the House and the Senate.  The Republican Congress getting kudos from Obama is like Hillary Clinton getting al-Baghdadi’s endorsement for President.  That analogy actually works for any American Presidential candidate.

Of course, he had to report that ISIS is on their deathbed - again.  And he was tricked into saying ISIS instead of ISIL.  Please do not call these thugs ISIL.  It is an aspirational label, and if you don’t believe me just look up what “The Levant” (the “L” in ISIL) includes.  And for God’s sake, he suggested, use your common sense and say something if you see something, unless you see a Muslim kid carrying what you think could be a briefcase bomb into a school.  In that case you’ll be vilified and sued and Obama will invite the kid to the White House.

And then he finished with what’s on top of everyone’s mind - we must close Gitmo.  Actually, I could not find a single recent survey of the American people where “closing Gitmo” even registers as a concern.  And making a financial argument by this administration to close Gitmo is a farce.  We spent more money training five Syrian rebels (that’s right 5) than it would take to fund Gitmo for a year.  There is plenty of waste in Washington that can be eliminated if we want to balance the budget.

He did finish strong, however.  He really perked up at the end when he talked about seeing Star Wars and going on vacation.  You may want to delete that part from your sleep inducing video, however.  It might actually wake you up!