Government Run Disney

 Government Run Disney

The View from the Middle

 

My wife and I just returned from a trip to Orlando and I wanted to report what we found. It seems that at Disney, the efficiency and absolute dedication to customer satisfaction has been replaced by social distancing overkill and mask shaming.  It amazed me that Disney could figure out how to only allow 25% of their park’s capacity but still manage to keep the time in line for its customers higher than average.  They were able to accomplish this by redefining social distancing.  Their new definition is, “if six feet is adequate, 20 feet must be better.”  On the Haunted Mansion, where the cars are already nine or ten feet apart and the back of each seat serves as a wall between the riders, they left every other car empty and sometimes put two empty cars between customers.  This made sure that, despite the reduced customer count, the line for the Haunted Mansion was still over an hour long.  Yah, keeping those lines long is part of the experience we all love about Disney.

On the new “Seven Dwarfs Mine Train” they inexplicably allowed cars that normally accommodate 10 to 12 people to go out with just two people in the entire car.  They also made it a habit to send entire cars out with no one in them at all.  As I stood in my 90-minute-long line I noticed multiple times where they sent four consecutive empty cars out that could have accommodated almost 50 people.  Gotta love those lines!

The piece de resistance, however, came on the Jungle Cruise ride.  In the past this ride had always been defined by the humor of your boat’s captain, but today it includes a heavy dose of “mask shaming”.  About half way around our little river cruise, our captain noticed that one of the passenger’s mask had drifted slightly below the tip of her nose, and I guess “mask drifting” is no laughing matter on the new Jungle Cruise these days.  The captain was forced to make an example of her in the middle of his tour down the Nile.  Yah, that’s another thing I used to love about Disney, public ridicule of the paying customers.  What’s next, walking the plank for sneezing?

I did find, however, that I now have a new favorite ride at Disney, and that is the Hall of Presidents.  They have either updated the little historical documentary that goes along with the presentation of the Presidents or I had forgotten how good it was.  It walked the audience through our great history, warts and all.  It talked about the genius of our Constitution and the tragedy of slavery and the civil war.  It took us through the misery of our two world wars and the depression but also through the explosion of our economy that has made us the most powerful and free country on earth.  It allowed the pride that Walt Disney had in this county to shine through and gave us all hope that this great country will continue to get better, stronger and freer tomorrow.  They even did a nice job on Obama and Trump.  With all the bias coverage of our current President, it was nice to see him treated with respect as he gave a short talk that made me feel better about the country.

The other real positive about our trip to Orlando was the short drive we took to see the Kennedy Space Center.  Despite the fact that there were a few exhibits that were closed down, it was an awesome experience.  From John Kennedy’s inspiring goal to send a man to the moon and bring him back safely in the 60’s to the shuttle flights from 1981 to 2011, to a look to the future and the mission to Mars, it was a fascinating tour.  And just when we thought it couldn’t get any better they unveiled the actual Atlantis Shuttle in its spectacular splendor.  It really helped me appreciate all of the hard work and genius that went into those efforts.

The Atlantis exhibit included a nice little review of the qualities it takes to actually become an astronaut.  It included kiosks that talked about the courage, determination, integrity, goal setting and unselfishness it took to become a successful member of this exclusive club.  I did notice, however, that they didn’t have a single kiosk devoted to safe spaces, victimhood or intolerance.  In fact, there was a display of a quote from Ronald Reagan that I had never heard before.  President Reagan said, “The future doesn’t belong to the fainthearted (those seeking safe spaces, added by me), it belongs to the brave.”  I believe that Americans will eventually reject today’s call to demonize anyone with a differing opinion and blame anyone else for our own circumstances and return to the spirit of hard work, cooperation and personal responsibility that has made this country the greatest place to live on this earth.  Put me in the Ronald Reagan camp of optimism in America.  We will embrace a love for each other and reject the tactics of hate and continue on the path of success that has delivered us to be this, “Shining city on a hill.”  God bless you all, and God bless America.